just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Couch. On fire.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
