I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
When are your genitals available?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
