please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
