is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
