Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
