Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Dicks are not precious.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
