hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
