hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
why does every cop we meet know your name?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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