is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
