We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
