wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
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