If that was your dad, he is hot
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
