I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
