sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
