RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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