Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
