The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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