He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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