hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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