i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
