I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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