Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
