The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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