he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
