I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
