I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
