I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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