don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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