Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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