now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
