Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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