and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
