I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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