Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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