why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
