it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
