I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize