As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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