i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
