I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
