apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize