is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
