yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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