so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
