Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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