one two three fourrrrnication!
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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