Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
