I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
