Three words: puerto rican gang bang
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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