I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
