Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
