turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
