I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Say something about gay babies.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
