I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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