vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
soo... how was my night?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
