I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
