try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
