your parents love me but you hate me
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
