i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
