Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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