there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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