I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
then he tried to convert me to islam
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
